Tears...

There are very few people that I will allow to see me cry. I was raised to be the tough one. To suck it up and keep going. I would say that it would take moving a mountain to make me cry. A few of my good friends would say that is not true. Even JM would say that I rarely cry. But in the last year God has moved my heart so much and so deep that I can not help but cry at the mention of His name. My friend MJ would say this: " I love how you say you never cried...but ever since I have known you, you cry all the time...because the Holy Spirit is moving in you!" She is right. My other friend JG would say :"I love how you cry, I love how tender hearted you are." It is weird to think that they know me as a crier!!! Ha. I am, I am a crier! I cry when I see their faces, I cry in the parking lot, I cry at the thought of God in my life. So here I am saying to you all I am a crier!

There was a day right after Christmas that I just felt like I needed to see my friend. And so I invited myself to go to lunch at a little taco place with her. What she did not know was that I cried with anticipation all the way to her house because just the thought of knowing I would be with her soon. I whole heartedly could not wait to see her. There have been a few times where my friends have held me while I cried. MJ when I saw her at church and just seeing her face reminded me of God's love, JG as I saw her waving at me from the back of church and I just had to give her a hug and in her embrace I broke down. Overwhelmed by God's promises. BD at church and walking towards her with her arms wide open as if God himself was saying "come take refuge". Even as I sit here now writing this I can remember how wonderful it is to just BE with these ladies.

These friendships are the perfect picture of God in my life. These women allow me to just BE and allow me to take refuge and allow me to share life with them. They have made me reevaluate what our world and I perceived friendship to be. I thought a friend was someone that I needed to be with every week, someone that I could enjoy being with...but really it is much much more with less words. It is knowing that they push me to draw closer to God. It is knowing that they love me no matter what. It is being with them for the sake of love and compassion. It is listening. It is allowing me to enter into the places of their lives that no one else wants to linger. It is just BEING with them without a schedule!

MJ, JG, BD : Thank you for allowing me to walk life with you. You have spoken into my life with great passion and love that I am forever changed by who God is in you. Thank you for allowing me to cry and allowing me to hear the Holy Spirit because you know that I never cry expect for when God's Spirit is with us!