I woke up thinking about God's love and the life he has given me. Oh how many times does he try to catch my attention and I am just too busy. To busy washing my hair, watching TV, hanging out, just busy. Busy with stuff. It's like there are times when I am just lost in my own little world where I can play until something happens that catches my attention. It makes me think of Caleb and his little cars. He has a ton of Hot Wheel cars that fit perfectly in his pocket. I find them every where, in the laundry, in my car, on the floor where I step on them, under the couch and as our new door stoppers. These little cars are Caleb's way of just being Caleb. They help him to do so much stuff, mostly to play. In El Salvador I saw these little cars become an entry way to relationships and at Target I saw them as a way to keep Caleb sane as we shopped. But there came a point where he was so lost in playing and driving that little car all over the store that when we walked outside he kept on going. The scene changed and my Hispanic panic kicked in. I would call for Caleb to come close to me over and over again and he could not hear me because he was lost with his cars. He was busy. I yelled for him and nothing. Then finally I called to him and said that there where cars to watch out for and he quickly looked at me and grabbed my hand to walk across the parking lot. I wonder how many times God calls out to me?
It wasn't really that Caleb was just ignoring me, he was just distracted. It wasn't that he could not hear my voice, it was that he was busy. He was caught up in fun and imagination. But it reminds me that their is a time for everything. And it reminds me that my son knows my voice. He knows the levels of it as well. He knows when I call for him for safety and he quickly runs to me. He also knows the comfort of my arms. He knows that when he is tried I will carry him and when he is hungry I will feed him and when he is hurting I will be there for him. All my attention goes to my beloved children whom I would climb mountains for. Sound familiar? Not that I am even close to giving the type of love that God gives but this help me to understand his love for me. If I could do that for my kids how much more does He do it for me? More than I can imagine.
This reminds me of my life, where I knew about God but never followed him. I did not know of his salvation but just the fear of Him. In knowing his salvation I can now see how many times he called for me and I did not answer. He allowed me to walk until I saw the danger and heard his voice clearly. I chose to turn to Him. I chose to run to Him. I called upon Him to save me and forgive me.
"Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I."
- Isaiah 58: 9 (NIV)
There He was. He embraced me, feed me, and came when I was hurting and in need. Now over 16 years later and I am looking at those Hot Wheels and know that God matters to me and I to him. There will come a day when Caleb will no longer need those Hot Wheels and there will come a day when he will look for something more. He will grow out of his childhood and become a man, and I pray his heart will know God's voice. I pray that he will know it deeply and profoundly that God will use him and our family to walk along side people in need. His love truly is better than life. For He gave his own Son for our Salvation!
photo by: Cristina M Robeck
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